Grape #37: The Time Has Come

So...I have a story to tell the world, a story I have only ever shared in pieces before now.

It's a tale of growth and change, true transformation really, and yet it's also overflowing with sadness, pain, depression, and despair.

The real fire of the story started back in 1993, though some of what transpired that year was forged much earlier, and while the story ended in 1997, many new stories have since been born from the ashes.

This here? These words you read now? They are not the story.

They are only the preface, the starting off point for a new journey still taking flight. Once we get going, I'll have so much more to share with you. Until then, I am mindful of your time and attention, and hopeful for your willingness to learn more about a pivotal time in my life.

For four years from 1993 to 1997, I was a monk in a Roman Catholic monastery. I was Brother Sean. While there, I kept several long journals chronicling my frustrations, my dreams, my fears, and even my needs. They were meant to console me during some of the most difficult days of my life.

In a new blog starting in January, I will share actual entries from those diaries, explaining how I found myself there in the monastery to begin with, how I grew through failure, clinical depression, and adolescence, and how one day, without any warning, it all came crashing down.

I'm going to tell you everything this time, so be prepared. We have a lot of dirty laundry to go through, and there's not enough bleach in the world to make this all right.

https://monasticlaundry.blogspot.com

Grape #36: Introduction to Shamanism

Welcome to a brand new series on Shamanic Journeying! If this is your first time visiting my blog, you'll find all kinds of spiritual discussions over the past few years. Poke around a bit, and see if any of the other conversations appeal to you.

I'm really excited to launch this brand new, interactive experience with you, because for the past six years of my life, Shamanism has become a true passion, something that helps me get in touch with the spirit world in a truly up-close-and-personal manner.

Now despite all the funny memes lately referring to spirit animals, I'm willing to bet most people I know don't really understand what shamanism entails, and some may even think it a bit suspect. Well, I promise you it is not just real, but REALLY COOL too.

I thought I'd use this space to tell you what shamanism is exactly, and then in future blogs, I'll write in more detail about some of the amazing journeys I've enjoyed over the past six years since I began attending monthly circles. Because I write down what I see, hear, feel, and experience each time I do this, I have notebooks filled with my shamanic journeys, and I think you're going to really enjoy hearing about them.

While you'll need to take a class somewhere to really learn how to journey, here's a very short, very free overview.

First, we smudge. We burn sage, and along with a feather, take turns guiding the sage smoke onto each other as a way of healing one another from negative energy and relaxing into the spirit-centered atmosphere we choose to create for ourselves.

Led by our shaman, we next set circle by calling in the directions and inviting in our spirit guides and teachers, asking them to join us in creating sacred space. A small altar at the middle serves as a center for the circle's energy.

Once we've smudged and set the circle, we sit and wait for our shaman to tell us what his or her plans are for the evening. They will have journeyed on the intentions they'll share with us at this time, and give us instructions for our first journey.

With the lights dimmed and all participants sitting or lying down with their eyes closed, usually with something covering our eyes as well, the shaman will begin to beat the drum at 200 beats per minute, activating the theta waves in our brain. Nothing weird here, I promise. The steady drumbeat simply helps you go to a place between sleep and awake where you can most easily commune with spirit.

And the spirits themselves are nothing scary either. In fact, you can feel free to call them angels, saints, spirit guides, teachers, loved ones, spirit animals, and so on.

Shamanism is not in any way a contradiction to religion. It is simply a spiritual practice, a beautiful direct pathway to communion with the spirit world.

As the shaman beats the drum, you'll go to what we call the lower, middle, or upper worlds. The lower world is where we generally meet with and commune with spirit animals in nature, the middle world is our own world for the most part, but as seen spiritually, and the upper world is where we usually find and meet with our spirit guides and teachers.

Visualization is the key, but it cannot come through resistance. You must be open to the absolute truth that spirit guides, spirit animals, teachers, and truths can and will arrive. As long as you are fully open to this, the drumbeat from the shaman will help you connect. Though it takes practice, you'll be amazed at how quickly you get used to it.

That's all for now. I don't want to overwhelm you too much at the beginning. Next time I'll take you through an evening of journeys. Please ask me anything you'd like any time, and I'll be very happy to explain things to the best of my ability. Thank you for your interest.

Grape #35: The Secrets That We Keep

July 18, 2019

I'm willing to bet you've got secrets you're keeping from others, some of which you'd never want your family or friends to know about.

Maybe they're fairly innocent ones, like a late-night snack, a game on your phone while you're supposed to be working, or even just a harmless crush on a friend.

But what if you've got the bigger kinds, the dangerous kinds: sneaking around, lying about where you were and who you were with, and most importantly, what you did while you were with them.

While it isn't immoral to tell a white lie because of workplace politics or to avoid unnecessary drama from those who make mountains from molehills, when lies become so ingrained in your personality and lifestyle that you don't even second guess yourself, there is quite a big problem.

When we say someone has a "casual relationship with the truth", we're pointing to the total collapse of their moral walls, and identifying a problem the person themselves may not even realize they have.

So how do you get past this if you've got the kind of secrets you shouldn't be keeping? How do you break free from your safe cocoon of secrecy and lies? Start by simply choosing at least two or three close friends, people you know for certain you can trust, and open up to them about your secrets. Form a truth squad.

Form a Truth Squad to keep yourself and others in check

Now if you don't have any big secrets to share, great! Tell your selected truth squad whatever small secrets you might have, and they'll probably laugh, and tell you not to worry.

But if you're living your life in whispers, or jogging along in the shadows of lies and secrecy, you absolutely need to talk openly with some close friends about what this is doing to you, and how it might be affecting your family and friends as well.

You can't allow honesty and openness to be choked out by your hush-hush lifestyle, especially if you've surrounded yourself with people who don't set you straight. And they may desperately need your help too. Left unchecked, it's human nature to find some defense for our own worst words and actions. 

You're allowed to have secrets, and many, it's true, are harmless. But if you're keeping any big ones, do yourself a huge favor and form a truth squad as soon as possible. There are people in your life right now who can help you think things out with a fresh new perspective.

Unburden yourself once and for all, and you'll learn at last the truth about truth: it's so much lighter when it's off your chest.

Grape #34: Raising The Bar

In the great scheme of things, one phrase of slander against the President of the United States comes and goes. Whether it's an attack on Barack Obama's citizenship or Donald Trump's hair, or any of the much worse things thrown at both of them in the past and present, the individual insults are fleeting. It's the larger regression of our public discourse that matters more, and where we must begin.

No matter who you voted for in the last two presidential elections in the United States, or who you would have voted for if you could have, one truth should always, always, always be at the forefront of your thinking: morality is more important than politics.

On Sunday night, Robert De Niro hurled an insult at President Donald Trump on live television at the Tony Awards. He said, "Fuck Trump. It's no longer 'Down with Trump'. It's 'Fuck Trump'."

Now I happen to understand Mr. De Niro's feelings 100%, and in the moment, I don't mind admitting I was happy he said it, but in retrospect? Well, in retrospect I see how utterly useless it was, and how it only sets us back a bit more.

I despise Donald Trump's loathsome character and cold-souled assaults on countless people on both sides of the political divide, but I both want and need to publicly acknowledge my distaste of insults and mindless curses from his critics. Do I understand them? Yes. Have I taken part in some public sub-par criticisms of Mr. Trump, too? Yes, and I'm sorry. But it is my feeling, deep in my soul, that we need to stop such childish behavior as soon as possible.

The loud criticism must continue, because clearly far too many American citizens think Mr. Trump's vile behavior is worth supporting, but the adolescent rants about his skin color, hair, waist size, and looks are just ridiculous, and we will never prove ourselves any better than the Bully in Chief by sinking to his level like this. To put it another way, we cannot hope to prove to people how awful his insults are when we just join his games and do it ourselves.

I understand the need to attack Mr. Trump in any verbal and written way we can. The guy disgusts me like no other human being ever has, and I find his reckless lies and despicable, deplorable behavior deeply disturbing, matched only by my shock at the complete refusal of so many people I know and love to publicly call this man out for his hideous behavior.

This is not about politics. We are all always going to disagree and argue over political issues, and hopefully, we can do even that from a place of morality, and not in a pursuit of money or power. This is about basic moral decency. When the President of the United States of America is bullying people with name calling, or telling outright lies from podiums and social media alike, you should be very alarmed and very disturbed. You should be ashamed. And you should speak out.

I'm somewhere left of center politically, but only because every moral truth I've ever learned tells me caring about the least among us is more important than how much money I have in my own bank account, and because I feel weapons capable of killing should not be something people want to own. Turn the other cheek, and offer that one as well. He who is without sin can throw the first stone. Remember those? No, too many of us have not. We've conveniently forgotten.

My point is this: morality should be your focus in all things, all day every day, even in politics.

One of the reasons Robert De Niro and your friend on Facebook and that other guy, and that other woman you know all scream out so often with insults and slurs is because Donald Trump's supporters have absolutely nothing to say by way of criticism of him. They don't feel any need to say a damn thing. Yet when someone dares attack him, as De Niro did Sunday, suddenly everyone's got a passion about them you never see otherwise.

Do you not get the hypocrisy and insane madness of this? At all?

So let me repeat my earlier call to action, and I say this knowing some of my liberal friends will keep doing it anyway. Stop insulting Donald's hair, skin coloring, and other personal attributes. That kind of game is mean, and we need to just stop being mean to each other, even to bullies.

DO keep attacking his lies, malicious words, and childish behavior. Call him out for it any time you have the energy enough to do so. But do not sink to his level anymore. It's time to raise the bar for ourselves and our souls.

Be the better person, because I promise you, your passionate argument, when calmly thought out, will always go over better than if you reduce things to silly slurs or mockery. Be better than that. Be the good you want to see in the world. If you truly believe Donald Trump is wrong when he mocks people and says awful things, then don't do it yourself. Thank you.

Grape #33: An Evening With John Edward

December 7, 2017.

Quotes here are just my best recollections, not transcriptions of actual lines from John or others.

On Tuesday night, I attended my very first group reading with a medium, and because it was my first time, I wanted to start with one of the best: Long Island's own John Edward.

Though I went into this event as a believer, I kept an open mind...for doubt. I allowed the voices of the naysayers some space in my mind, and I promised myself to stay focused and not let my emotions get the better of me. To put it another way, I waited for John to prove himself.

If you don't feel like reading further, I'll sum it up neatly: he was amazing, even more so than I remembered from his TV show, and he worked his ass off trying to validate every single message he received from the spirits. Even though a good number of people tried to interrupt him, he just kept plowing ahead nonstop, and by doing so, he proved he knew more (because of the soul sharings of the spirits coming through) than those of us in attendance could tell him.

Doubt and cynicism come really easily to some people, and though I pity those whose default response is always dark and dreary, I certainly do understand their passionate desire for truth and validation. The thing is, so does John Edward.

I watched him time and time again as people tried to sideswipe spirit and hijack the readings. People rows away from the people he singled out would wave their hands at him ready to burst out, "I have a relative named Joe who's passed as well!" or "I'm a teacher, too! This must be for me!" He could have so easily grabbed hold of the opportunity and run with it, but instead, he stuck with the person and said, "No, I'm still with you guys. Who is the A-N connection for you?" It was Anna, the wife of the older man standing up behind me and the mother of the five girls standing around him.

This group fascinated me in a few different ways, because he started off by mentioning a Bob who was passed, but none of them knew who Bob was. They tried to make a connection, but John stopped them. "No, I'll get back to it. I just gotta go in the back door." He then proceeded to validate a long line of details for them, each one eliciting a quiet gasp from the people involved or the audience as a whole. Ten minutes passed of these great validations, and then all of a sudden, John collected himself, stood up straight, and announced a shift.

"Now. Here's what will happen at a lot of these group readings. Someone else here in the room is connected to your family somehow. Did you bring someone who's maybe sitting elsewhere in the room?" They shook their heads as we all looked around at the other 200 or so people in attendance. "No, I don't think so," one of the women said. On the opposite side of the room near the front, a woman's hand went up, and she was handed a microphone. "I work with her," she said. "I recognized her voice when she spoke before, but didn't know she'd be here."

The vibration of the room ticked up a bit, and John went on.

"Your mom, Anna," he said, pointing to the group standing behind me, "is bringing through your father," he said, looking now at the woman up front. "Your dad is Bob, yes?" he asked the woman. "Yes," she said, and there it was. I was gobsmacked. Cue the fireworks over Cinderella Castle.

John Edward doesn't stretch or guess, except to understand what it is the spirits are trying to tell him. He even admitted at one point that he asked a younger male energy 17 times how he passed, but the spirit wouldn't tell him. The people in the room throughout the evening kept trying to stretch and guess, but John wouldn't allow it. He shushed them, told them they were wrong more often than not when they tried to do this, and he stayed firm to the details he was getting in the specific directions he was being pulled to deliver them.

You know how when you attend a magic show or watch one on TV, you say to yourself, "Now how did he do that?" I imagine skeptics attending a reading with a medium might ask themselves the same. The thing is, there are no tricks here, no matter what some dumb YouTube video you once saw convinced you to believe. The truth is, an expert medium like John Edward or Tyler Henry is getting information from somewhere other than the physical world and the minds within it, and they're able to translate this information with amazing accuracy.

To that point, John reminded us that we all use shorthand and emojis to communicate with each other in this world through texts and instant messenger, yet for some reason, we expect our loved ones who have crossed over to put on a Broadway production of Cats for us. It's a super valid point, don't you agree? Given the circumstances of what we're dealing with here, it's nothing short of invigorating to witness a medium of John's abilities in action.

I've already written a lot here, and to further make my point (I hope), I'm now going to make you understand my shorthand as well, and do your own translation work from my notes. As a writer, I've mastered the art of good shorthand, so while I enjoy reporting, I don't trust my memories alone.

I hope you'll see from the above and the notes below, I could tell you much more about my two hours in a room with John Edward. I may write more about some of this, but will just throw my notes at you for now. Feel free to ask me anything in particular anytime!

_______________________________________________

coins, flickering lights, orbs...guys, with cell phones now, a speck of dust can fall down and bam, you've got an orb...be realistic..."I could make anyone cry = slimy = not what I like to do"...1st year of loss = coasting, but 2nd year harder because so many of their supporters have drifted away...are we united or divided right now in the world...divided...the p word we need to understand is not politics but perspective, allow it to help us understand people...whole episode of South Park dedicated to me, more kids found me through that episode than through my TV shows...he describes himself as 48, OCD, Libra, lapsed Catholic, somewhat Christian...once saw musical notes going up from a woman in audience and thought it was someone blowing bubbles, walked over and saw she was praying rosary...see thoughts to loved ones who have died like texts, people don't respond right away...Heaven has multiple levels and we keep evolving..."Made in Heaven" movie, "Defending Your Life", reincarnation real, "Hello From Heaven" book; NDEs word you hear most is euphoric (or bliss); "Nobody passes alone" - JE...pre-9/11 he was overwhelmed with negative feelings to the point he felt incapacitated, hard to get out of bed; 9/10 death and dying episode on Larry King; 911 call emanating from his hotel suite on 9/11; knew South American plane would crash; spirits can intervene but not interfere

Grape #32: Brain Off, Soul On

August 14, 2017

Sometimes, your brain plays tricks on you. It clouds your real vision, forcing you to see all the negative, and virtually none of the positive.

And then you remember...to turn it off.

You remember too late, perhaps, after too much heartache and pain, but you do eventually remember.

You make a conscious decision to turn your brain off, and your soul on.

The soul is who you really are. You are a being of light confined for a time, wrapped up for a time in the mortal coil of human life. You are confined, in a way, but you're never really trapped. You're never really helpless or hopeless or dark.

The human brain is like a super computer weighing heavily on the lily pad of peace floating within you. It's the part of you that helps you function here as a human being. It reminds your muscles and bones to move as they're supposed to, and tells the other parts when you're about to stand up, or extend your arms, or even scream. And while the brain needs rest, such calm relaxation is simply another bodily function, and no more.

Resting your brain is not the same as engaging your soul.

The soul is like the sun. It's always shining, even if you can't see it, even if you can't feel it, and yes, even if you find yourself immersed in the darkness. Just as you go about your day without constantly thinking about the sun outside, and go about your evening without thinking about the sun still shining on another part of the planet, so too do you easily forget about your soul. And yet, strange as it may seem, your soul never forgets about you.

It flickers constantly, an unending, bright-burning flame within you that can never be vanquished. It's the part of you that sees beyond this human life and all your silly entanglements here. It smiles warmly at the person trying to cause you pain, or make you angry. It sends only love out to the worst among you, up to and including the worst parts of yourself.

Even though your soul is never really off, you too often forget it's there, and you allow the tricks and treacheries of your brain to do all your thinking for you.

Through meditation and practice, you can learn to turn your brain off, and allow your soul's light to shine brightly within you. You can do this in bed at night, or while you're praying in your favorite sacred place in town or at home, but you can also do it while walking down the hall, or speaking with someone at work or in the supermarket.

You can tell your brain to just stop doing all its brain-like things for awhile, and you can instead give yourself over to your peace-loving, life-loving, love-loving soul.

It isn't easy. God knows, it isn't easy. And in those moments when you feel your saddest, or darkest, or most guilty or unworthy, you may feel like even your soul is against you. That again, however, is just your brain playing tricks on you.

Your soul wants only joy, and peace, and love. When all is dark and sad, the sun still shines brightly on your lily pad of peace. Your brain goes off, your soul shines brighter, and all is perfect. It's there, right now, inside you, and it's waiting for you to sit back and relax. Go there now for just a minute or two if you can't do more. Sit on your inner lily pad of peace, and breathe deeply with the light of your soul.

Grape #31: Choose Kindness

This reflection isn't about politics. It's about morality.

I have seen darkness, bullying, and hatred from my Republican friends and family members. I have also seen darkness, bullying, and hatred from my Democrat friends and family members. Darkness, bullying, and hatred do not show up in the soul of a person based on how they vote. This truth comes with some much-needed clarifications though.

When we speak of basic moral principles, there is a darkness in our country right now that we all, regardless of our political backgrounds and opinions, need to stop. It is a darkness that says that a person is somehow less than we are because of their skin color, gender, sexuality, religion, or nationality. These are moral absolutes that you either comprehend or fail to comprehend, and if you cannot get past that last sentence without agreeing 100%, your soul is sick, and I pray you find healing soon.

But here is a another great sickness that has invaded people of every political, sexual, religious, and ethnic equation. It is the disease of bullying, and it infects a person so much, they act without thinking or feeling in their pursuit of hurting other people. They mock people boldly on Facebook. They "slut shame", they bully, and they demean their fellow human beings in many corrosive, acidic, and disgusting ways, and it needs to stop right now.

We cannot hope to change this world for the better, to unite our country or our world, through hatred. No dark room can be brightened by bringing the darkness from another room into it. The dark can only be vanquished by the light.

To be clear, I'm not talking about the very real importance of defending yourself from danger, whether imminent and physical or widespread and political. I am in no way advocating for silence or acceptance of hatred and violence. But when we have the opportunity to discuss, argue, and debate important matters, no one will be helped by using that opportunity to share a demeaning picture or post online. I say this not as a perfect person who has never done this, but as a very imperfect person who has done it, and knows it's wrong.

The darkness I see out there is coming from people on the left and the right. I believe slut shaming Melania Trump is wrong. I believe mocking President Obama's name is wrong. I believe mocking Donald Trump for his hair is wrong. I believe calling a human being a spic, a nigger, or a faggot is wrong. I believe making fun of Chris Christie for his waist size is wrong. I believe hating someone for being a Republican or a Democrat is wrong. And don't tell me you're just calling out hypocrisy or you're dishing back what others give out, because two wrongs never made anything right.

Here's what else I know.

Politics has nothing to do with hatred, judgment, and dismissal of human beings because of their race, religion, sexuality, gender, and so on. When a human being, whether he's the President-elect or just the guy selling you your coffee, tells people that violence is a good thing, and hatred is a good thing, you need to use your own brain, your own heart, and your own soul, and realize that person is wrong. You need to call it out when it's safe to do so, and you need to make sure your friends and family members do the same.

You need to know, without any doubt in your mind, that hatred, violence, and bullying are wrong. This is not my opinion or my political belief. This is Morality 101, and I'm alarmed that so many human beings have not yet passed this entry-level class.

We are called to be kinder. We are called to be gentler. We are called to be more compassionate, loving human beings. This is not a religious calling or a political preference. This is a basic moral principle, and it's what keeps us all from killing one another.

The United States right now is filled with people who are scared. Respect that. Feel compassion for that. Try your best to understand that. If your only response is to mock people who are protesting, or crying, or shouting their grief and fear out into the wind, you are the problem. You are the sickness that has infiltrated this country and our world. If your first inclination is to laugh and to make fun of your fellow citizens, even those of opposing political parties, you are a sick-souled person. And again, I say this as someone who has done this myself. I'm not perfect, but I will forever believe we should all strive to be more perfect than we are.

I am a man who was raised a Christian but who found Christ outside the church more than within. I was an altar boy in grade school, a Bishop's server in high school, and a monk in college. I walked the walk and I talked the talk. And even though I have been heading away from "the church" for almost 20 years now since leaving the religious life, I have learned that basic moral principles have never been the property of religion. Morality instead forms an arc of love over us all. And though this moral arc can absolutely be found inside the walls of temples, mosques, and churches, it is not at all dependent on religious background, teaching, or even belief in order to be found.

So here we are today, a country split in half with differences and fed by anger and hatred. We are broken, and we need to acknowledge that brokenness. We cannot hope to mend this division until we first fully acknowledge that we are a nation of vastly different people with vastly different opinions that has been torn open and wounded.

Our agreement to certain moral absolutes is the foundation on which all laws and differences of political opinion are based. We agree that violence is wrong, that all men are created equal, that citizens are innocent until proven guilty, and that love is always, always, always greater than hate.

So I pray, for those who will read this, that you go back to your social media feeds or your desks at the office or at school, and you try your very best to keep kindness and love in your heart. Bringing darkness and hatred to a dark situation will do nothing. What is now, is now. What will be, will be. Your kindness and your love, even to the point of kindly telling your friends and family members that their social media posts are hateful, will make our moral arc that much stronger, and it will protect us that much more.

Choose kindness. Choose strength when you need to defend the defenseless, or even yourself, but whenever possible, I beg you to seek out and spread kindness. Be kind even with the sick-souled who don't see how sick-souled they are. Be loving with those who seem to be unlovable. And yes, you can still do this with strength and volume in your voice in the pursuit of healing our country's soul.

The moral arc that surrounds us needs feeding and constant upkeep. Our world needs more and more love, now more than ever before. What will be, will be, but what will be can be made better because of kindness. Choose kindness. Be Kindness. And be gentle, with yourself as much as with others. It isn't the solution to all our problems, but it is a much more powerful tool to take with us through our day than hatred. Because in a world where even our political leaders are encouraging violence and hatred, it is your moral responsibility to preach out for a kinder world.

I pray for us all: Democrats, Republicans, Independents, and all those who are watching our country right now on the world stage. May we ALL make the choice today, right now, to not just choose this kindness for ourselves, but to do our best to teach our families, our friends, and our communities to choose this kindness as well. Fight the good fight in dialogue and discussion, and yes, even in political fervor, but do so always with kindness in your thoughts, your words, and your heart. We can be better than this. We are better than this. And it's time we changed.

Grape #30: Holy Week Reflections

Without fail, whenever Holy Week arrives, I'm brought back to every other Holy Week I've gone through before, every time I've watched the Jesus of Nazareth Miniseries, every passion play I've witnessed, or mass, or ritual, or stations of the cross.

It all begins, of course, with humility. On what we now call Palm Sunday, Jesus enters Jerusalem on a donkey. Hardly a bells-and-whistles entrance, I think you'd agree, but enough people know who he is now after he's been teaching and preaching for three years across the region. So here he comes moseying along--I always think of Eeyore--and just like his ride, he smiles sadly and says, "Thanks for noticing me."

Okay, so maybe that's not what he said, but you understand what I mean? He wasn't exactly screaming out for people to notice him. Still, they did notice him. They did know who he was, and they did recognize the beauty of the moment. They laid down palm fronds before him in tribute to both him and his ministry. It was beautiful.

He spends the week with his disciples, and he tells them to prepare the Passover meal later in the week. This will be the day we now call Holy Thursday. He dines with his friends, and starts to tell them what will happen next. And they're riveted, absolutely riveted. "Wait, what is he saying? This is all going to happen now? This weekend?" Imagine you're out to dinner with friends, and someone tells you they're about to be arrested, tried for treason, and killed the next day. You'd stop eating and stare at him with wild eyes, too. "No," you'd say, "that can't be true."

"No joke," he says, "In fact, the person who reaches for that yummy basket of breadsticks at the same time as me will betray me this very night." And by the time they're out in the olive garden, full from dinner, they forget. They fall asleep. He shakes his head at them and looks up in prayer. "Dear God, for Passover this year, won't you please let this cup pass over me? Can't we do this some other way?" He pleads to God for intercession, but nothing happens.

"In Gethsemane, the holiest of all petitioners prayed three times that a certain cup might pass from him. It did not. After that, the idea that prayer is recommended to us as a sort of infallible gimmick may be dismissed." - C. S. Lewis

Good Friday arrives, and within just a few hours that morning, he's tried and sentenced to death. The disciples seem to have slept in that morning, because most of them weren't even aware this was happening. In his darkest moments the night before, they slept, and in his final hours, they slept in. As they woke up late and had breakfast, maybe an egg sandwich or bagel, he was being whipped. Someone even cut out a bunch of thorns from a rose bush and crushed it on his head. "Here's your crown, king!" they laughed. By noon, his body was nailed to two pieces of wood, and he was left to die...slowly.

Holy Saturday's the day when nothing happens, and there's a supreme holiness in that. When you've spent the last two days thinking and praying about the awful end to Jesus's life, you're suddenly faced with this empty hole in your life. Tears may come, just as they do when you're a day apart from a loved one's death, but at the same time, you're left feeling empty. Robbed. Uncertain of anything.

But then Easter Sunday arrives. You've finally convinced yourself your loved one is gone. The awful hours of the previous two or three days are behind you, but now you reach the tomb and find it empty. Impossible, you think. How could this be true? The resurrection is at the core of Christian theology, but even if you have trouble believing that Jesus rose from the dead, body and soul, there's still the truth as shared by so many in the years afterward.

"We saw him appear before us." "We touched the holes in his hands and feet." "He walked with us on the road to Emmaus."

These were people who Jesus told to their faces what would happen, and even they didn't believe him. Peter, his closest disciple, denied even knowing him! They fell asleep in the Garden of Gethsemane when he needed them most. They slept in the next morning while he was beaten and crucified. And when the women of their group ran to them and said they saw him alive, risen from the dead, risen from the tomb, they made fun of them. "You silly women don't know anything," they mocked, "Why should we believe you?"

So when we read about all of this, including their amazing stories about finally seeing him themselves, talking to him, touching his hands and dining with him, we see real people telling their real stories without sugarcoating anything. "We didn't believe either," they're telling us, "and we know it all sounds crazy, but it's true!"

Holy Week comes just once a year, but we go through it over and over again in our lives. Every time someone close to us dies, we experience all the pain and doubt, lethargy and hopelessness the disciples felt. Our faith is tested, and we may even scoff at those who try to tell us they've seen the resurrected spirit of a loved one in person. But it's true--all of it!

All theology aside--and I personally don't believe a whole lot of things traditional religion has taught me--the soul does survive death! Holy Week is an opportunity to reflect on all of it: the death and the life, the empty hole and the empty tomb, the darkness of this world, and the light of the next. "We didn't believe either, and we know it all sounds crazy, but it's true!"

Grape #29: Irritable Scowl Syndrome

You've no doubt heard about bitchy resting face, a syndrome that's not so much intentional as it is unfortunate. Irritable scowl syndrome is similar, but it absolutely comes with intention.

The serial scowler either knows they are, or simply doesn't care. They make no effort to conceal their distaste, for that would defeat the purpose of scowling in the first place.

A scowl is meant to convey distaste and judgment. It is intended to communicate disagreement with the hopes of changing the situation at hand.

When afflicted with ISS (Irritable Scowl Syndrome), you walk around with hatred. You see a car parked badly, and you scowl. You see a teenager dressed in a way you disagree with, and you scowl. You see a post on social media you don't like, and you scowl. You see a person you dislike with a smile on their face, and you scowl. You see a problem with your meal at a restaurant, and you scowl. You see a scowl, and you scowl.

ISS is common in people over 40, but it's also common in people one day of age and up. In rare cases, Irritable Scowl Syndrome can cause Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and just as often, Irritable Bowel Syndrome can cause Irritable Scowl Syndrome. Talk to your doctor about almost anything, and you may soon find yourself with Irritable Scowl Syndrome. Four out of five doctors have Irritable Scowl Syndrome, and it is contagious.

There is no known cure for ISS, but encouraging your face to move in the upward position rather than downward is a good place to start. Practice in the mirror if necessary. Just think of happy things, and see if that helps. In clinical trials, some patients observed that simply loving people rather than judging them helped remove the scowl immediately.

For more ways to help reverse the process of scowling, please visit Spirituality With A Smile on Facebook, or subscribe to this blog.

Grape #28: Doubling Down On Kindness

Very often lately, I've heard about how a political candidate is accused of saying or doing something heinous, and instead of apologizing, he doubles down on his hateful rhetoric a day later.

So today, to help balance the universe out, I thought we could look at ways we can all double down on kindness in our lives.

The kind thing to do is holding a door open. The double-down kind thing to do is holding the door open with a smile or a happy comment.

The kind thing to do is letting someone pull in front of you on the road. The double-down kind thing to do is waving them in with your hand.

The kind thing to do is smiling kindly at a stranger. The double-down kind thing to do is really meaning it.

The kind thing to do is pointing out some water or mess on the floor, so the next person doesn't slip. The double-down kind thing to do is cleaning it up yourself right away.

The kind thing to do is putting your phone down on the table while you're sitting with someone at a meal or a party. The double-down kind thing to do is putting your phone away completely in your pocket or purse.

The kind thing to do is not replying in a nasty way to a hate-filled post on social media. The double-down kind thing to do is posting something love-filled in response.

The kind thing to do is fully listening to someone tell a story. The double-down kind thing to do is not one-upping them once they're done.

The kind thing to do is giving your loved ones all your attention and love. The double-down kind thing to do is giving all your attention and love to those who look, pray, and speak differently than you do.

The kind thing to do is appreciating that we're all different, and we're allowed to have different beliefs from one another. The double-down kind thing to do is opening your mind to really learning about other cultures and beliefs.

The kind thing to do is liking this post on social media. The double-down kind thing to do is sharing it. *smile*

Reply here or in the posting you saw this from with your own double-down suggestion. The kind thing to do is ______________. The double-down kind thing to do is ______________.