Grape #35: The Secrets That We Keep

July 18, 2019

I'm willing to bet you've got secrets you're keeping from others, some of which you'd never want your family or friends to know about.

Maybe they're fairly innocent ones, like a late-night snack, a game on your phone while you're supposed to be working, or even just a harmless crush on a friend.

But what if you've got the bigger kinds, the dangerous kinds: sneaking around, lying about where you were and who you were with, and most importantly, what you did while you were with them.

While it isn't immoral to tell a white lie because of workplace politics or to avoid unnecessary drama from those who make mountains from molehills, when lies become so ingrained in your personality and lifestyle that you don't even second guess yourself, there is quite a big problem.

When we say someone has a "casual relationship with the truth", we're pointing to the total collapse of their moral walls, and identifying a problem the person themselves may not even realize they have.

So how do you get past this if you've got the kind of secrets you shouldn't be keeping? How do you break free from your safe cocoon of secrecy and lies? Start by simply choosing at least two or three close friends, people you know for certain you can trust, and open up to them about your secrets. Form a truth squad.

Form a Truth Squad to keep yourself and others in check

Now if you don't have any big secrets to share, great! Tell your selected truth squad whatever small secrets you might have, and they'll probably laugh, and tell you not to worry.

But if you're living your life in whispers, or jogging along in the shadows of lies and secrecy, you absolutely need to talk openly with some close friends about what this is doing to you, and how it might be affecting your family and friends as well.

You can't allow honesty and openness to be choked out by your hush-hush lifestyle, especially if you've surrounded yourself with people who don't set you straight. And they may desperately need your help too. Left unchecked, it's human nature to find some defense for our own worst words and actions. 

You're allowed to have secrets, and many, it's true, are harmless. But if you're keeping any big ones, do yourself a huge favor and form a truth squad as soon as possible. There are people in your life right now who can help you think things out with a fresh new perspective.

Unburden yourself once and for all, and you'll learn at last the truth about truth: it's so much lighter when it's off your chest.